By Suzanna Kaye
When you think about it though, another person's thoughts are more of a reflection of them and not you. So I decided there was a better question to be asking. If you were handed a book that was filled with all the negative things that you've said about yourself, either in your head or in public, would you want to read it?
Should you read it?
That really got me thinking. Because I'm pretty sure my brain has said more negative things about me than anyone else in the world has bothered to say about me. And that's something that very much affects me. Afterall what other people have to say about me or think about me ultimately isn't that important compared to how I'm thinking about and treating myself.
The things you say about yourself affect you every single day. Almost in every way. So let's talk about our self-talk. We all have days where we are hard on ourselves because things didn't turn out the way we wanted. We get down on ourselves.
We do this in ways that we might not be thinking about. Sabotaging ourselves without understanding. For example, the cute sign that says: Please Excuse the Mess We're Making Memories. Of course, messes happen when while we're raising children but this sign is also sending the message that you're a hot mess - all the time. Which you're not. You might be temporarily messy but that doesn't excuse messy buildups. Afterall, you might make a mess but you're not messy.
Part of what's happening here is that you're walking past this sign over and over again. You unconsciously are signaling to your brain that you're making a mess. All the time.
Another way we do this is by coming into agreement with others that we're failures at adulting or we're super hot messes. It's popular enough on Facebook but this is once again signaling your brain with a negative reinforcement on an idea you don't want thriving in your life. You don't have to go crazy but start being aware where you're subtly putting yourself down.
This is why I try to post inspiring and encouraging things. Uplifting one another and myself. We all need the support of having people come alongside us and say, "me too".
The words we hang on our walls and post on our social media are more powerful than we realize. We're sending them out into the world. While we think on the impact this makes I want to challenge you to do something else.
So many times I'll give someone a compliment only to hear them tear themselves down or explain it's no big deal. Allow yourself to be a big deal and realize that you can still accept a compliment and be humble. Humility is about being authentic with our abilities. In those moments when you graciously without, explanation accept a thank you, you're not being prideful. It's okay to let it put a little sunshine on your face. You did good. Enjoy it. Just let it be. That's a hard one for a lot of us.
Also, rephrase things in your head. When you catch yourself saying, "I'm such a loser today...." Instead say, "Oh man this task is such a loser - but I'm not a loser." Making sure you're not identifying your core with a task. It's a temporary thing. It can be resolved and isn't meant to be a part of your identity moving forward.
Here's another thing - should a loved one or friend pick up this book about you they'd probably disagree with 99.9% of the things in there. So be kind to yourself. Because you're awesome and beautiful. You really are!
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